During a seminar, a woman asked, “How would you know if you are with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting beside her so he said, “it depends. Is that your partner?” in all seriousness, she answered “how do you know?” let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle, in the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls; want their touch right, and like their idiosyncrasies. However, falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was completely natural and a spontaneous experience, among other. You didn’t have to do anything anyway. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People who are falling in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet, “picture the expression”. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after some months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades and disappears. It’s a natural cycle of every relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch will not always welcome again (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. However, the symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this stage, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” and as you reflect to the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire the experience with someone else’s. This is when relationship breakdown.
However, the key for succeeding in any relationship is not finding the right person; but it’s learning to love the person you found. Sometimes, people blame their partner for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes, angles and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma doesn’t lie outside your relationship. But it lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t/shouldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you feel better. You’d be in the same situation for years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in any Relationship is not finding the right person but it’s learning to love the person you found.
However, SUSTAINING love is never passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day to day. It really takes time, efforts and energy. And most importantly, wisdom is required. You must know what to do to work it out. Perhaps, love is not a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationship.
Love is therefore a “decision” not just feeling; you must develop the spirit and zeal of being responsible of all types (positive) and treatment of care and pampering your partner. m